Good Morning, Lord~

This morning at 6:30am my phone rang. It was My Beloved! Just the sound of his ringtone on my cell phone causes my spirit to soar. Being 500 miles apart is hard for any relationship and it has been a long time since we could just talk. We both needed the other this morning.

It never fails to amaze me how important it is to this man to make sure that I know he loves me and thinks of me often. He knows I need that reassurance. God knows I need it, too.

This long distance relationship has caused me to run straight into the arms of My Heavenly Father on so many occasions. My Beloved is a man-a mere mortal-and although we love each other dearly, circumstances dictate that we can not wake up next to one another and share our days and nights together. Loneliness tortures me. Anger taunts me. Fear attempts to consume me. Hopelessness grabs at my soul.

I have often prayed to God that He would rise up in my spirit and that I would cry out to Him first and no longer as a last resort. Be careful what you pray for! He loves me and will answer my prayers. I believe the ones I pray that entail me being closer to Him are the ones He holds dearest. He knows my inner most parts, He knows the love He has placed deep within my heart for this man. He knows my every thing.

Once a scripture gets ahold of me, I hang on until the fruit of it is thriving in my life. I read Psalms 37:4 which promises: Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. First an action then a promise of reward. Smart Father, He is! I use the same principle with my children..."If and Then." IF I delight myself in the Lord, THEN He will give me the desires of my heart. Having battled depression most of my life, I didn't have a clue how to delight myself in any thing! I so desperately wanted to live out the desires of my heart....desires that He had placed there.

Finally, I cried out, "Daddy! I want the desires of my heart! Help me to delight myself in You!" Imagine the delight in a Father's heart when His child asks for what He has wanted to give them all along. Things began happening in my every day life. I became all the more aware of the wonderful things I often took for granted. The sun became shinier, the sky bluer, the breeze more refreshing. I grew in my understanding of Him and His ways.

He even tell us that His ways are not our ways and that His thoughts are higher than ours. Even as a parent I don't understand why He allows what He allows but this is where faith comes in. Faith, not blind disobedience but, a choice to trust in His wisdom and the knowledge that He knows what is best for me. It is not always easy to walk the path laid before me even knowing that not only is He there, but that He will even carry me when I can no longer move forward.

And even more amazing is the fact that regardless of how terribly I mess up, He is there to help me to my feet, brush me off, and restore me. He is LOVE!